Shedding Pounds and Setting Goals

3 Days. 60 Miles. 1 Cure.

2010-11-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

Well....we did it! The Dallas/Ft. Worth Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk for the Cure has come and gone. And what an amazing experience it was. People keep asking me if I had fun, and my answer is always something like "Well...not really. But it was awesome." It was hard. It was painful. It was emotional. It was surreal. Maybe next year it'll be more "fun," since I know what to expect now. :)

FYI, this is going to be a long blog post, so just grab a cup of coffee and settle in for the long haul. It's impossible to be succinct about such an experience, so I'm not even going to try.

First of all, here's a picture of the route we took, from the 3-Day website (hopefully if you click on it, you can see it larger):

Team "Breast Friendz," made up of myself, Anna, and her friend from high school, Adrianne, met at Anna's house on Thursday night and started getting all of our stuff packed up. We were allowed one bag, not to exceed 35lbs in weight, so we had to get pretty creative with our packing. There was a lot of pink in that living room...

Then we were up ~~dark~~ bright and early at 5am the next morning so we could get to Collin Creek Mall in Plano, Texas in time to get our bags on the gear trucks, sign in, and get ready for the Opening Ceremonies! It was VERY chilly that morning, but we would've much rather had cold mornings and beautiful days than hot or rainy weather the whole time.

The Opening Ceremony was quite emotional. What you see in the picture below is a ring of breast cancer survivors carrying flags and surrounding a flag pole, on which was raised a string of white ribbons with the names of those who lost the fight written on them. There's a video at the bottom of this post of the survivors marching in. There wasn't a dry eye in that whole parking lot. These women WALKED WITH US. Can you even imagine? It was hard enough for those of us not fighting cancer to walk all those miles! It blows my mind how strong people are.

After the Opening Ceremony, we were off on Day 1! Some of the first things we noticed along the route were the Sweep Vans (pictured below). Each van had a different theme. They drove along the route, playing music and yelling out encouragement to us. They served to transport walkers from the route to the next Pit Stop if necessary. Unfortunately, I had to make use of one of these vans at one point, but more on that later... All a walker had to do was throw up his or her arms in an "X" formation when a Sweep Van passed by, and they would stop immediately and pick up the walker.

Every few miles along the route there was a Grab & Go or a Pit Stop. The Grab & Go stations had Porta-Potties and beverages (water and Gatorade), and the Pit Stops had Porta-Potties, beverages, snacks (fruit, Lara bars, the AMAZING Grahamwiches, etc.) and medical tents for blister treatment, chiropractic and sports medicine (wrapping joints, etc.). These Pit Stops were usually a very welcome sight. It was nice to just be able to sit for a minute, rehydrate, and stretch and enjoy the walkers....and of course, take a few pics!

One of the most motivating and invigorating parts of the route each day was coming up on cheering stations. There were "official" cheering stations, where there would sometimes be hundreds of people lining the route cheering us on. They had signs, pom-poms, candy, water, snacks, HUGS, high-fives....you name it, they had it. They yelled and screamed for us and thanked every single walker that passed by. It was hard not to get a bit choked up every time we came up on a cheering station. The biggest one was at Valley View Mall on Day 2....the line of cheerers and supporters extended over a mile. THESE people made it so much easier to keep going and temporarily forget about the foot pain and the aching muscles. Some people, like the two guys below, showed up at every single cheering station:

After 10 miles on Day 1, we stopped for lunch. We rested our feet, changed our socks, and got quite a delicious meal served to us while music was blaring and volunteers and crew members walked around and filled up our water bottles for us with cold water and Gatorade. It was very hard to put the shoes and socks back on and gear up for another 9 miles...as you can see, I just wanted to stay sitting there and let my feet rest! :)

This is where Day 1 got hard for me. My left ankle started bothering me on the stretch right after lunch, which was about a 3.5 mile stretch. The crew was very adamant about walkers taking care of medical problems before they got too bad, so I stopped at the medical tent at Pit Stop #4 and told the medical guy my problem. He wrapped up my ankle for me with a pink bandage and pink tape, and we set off for the last 6 miles of the day. Well...after about a mile, Anna noticed that I was limping. I was in a lot of pain, and after some urging, I flagged down a Sweep Van and got on it to the next Pit Stop, where I boarded a bus that took me right to camp. I was so disappointed that I couldn't finish the day, but I wanted to make sure I had some gas left in the tank for the next two days.

This is what we saw when we got to camp: Pink Tent City! Since I was waiting for Anna and Adrianne to finish up the day's miles, I put up mine and Anna's tent (yay me! Indoor Girl pitched a tent!) and just sat in it and felt sorry for myself and waited for my teammates.

Anna snapped this pic of me when she got back to camp! Gotta love that pink glow! That's a fake smile, in case you were wondering, because I was so bummed out about being hurt.

I visited the medical tent at camp and just couldn't stop crying because I was so upset. There were two people there that just hugged the crap out of me and sat with me while I got my ankle iced down (owwwwwww!!!) and told me how amazing it was that I was even there. Seriously, this crew of volunteers, along the route, at camp and the medical staff, was a Godsend. I have never met kinder people in my entire life.

After dinner (which was a hot meal, both nights, and VERY yummy), we got our stuff together and went to the showers. I was very curious about what the shower situation was going to be like. They were on trucks! Each truck had about 5 or 6 showers in them, with deliciously hot water and a curtained off area for dressing/undressing in front of each one. That shower was the best thing ever.

You guys, I am not gonna lie...that night. was. rough. We were in our tents ready to sleep by 9pm, but I didn't fall asleep until after 10:30. It was at least 30 degrees outside and we were absolutely freezing. I was bundled up in a sleeping bag with a beanie on my head and using a sweatshirt for a pillow (remember that bag and it's weight limit? no room for a pillow) and my ankle was throbbing. I turned on my phone at one point and sent my husband a text message that said I was miserable and wanted to come home! Of course, being the awesome guy that he is, he immediately responded and told me to hang in there, and that he loved me and was incredibly proud of me. He's a good guy; I think I'll keep him. :)

The next morning, we were frozen like popsicles, but we got up and got some breakfast and I hobbled over to the medical tent to have my foot looked at again. I got it re-taped and it was really tight and uncomfortable. I couldn't even step on it without shaking and crying. I was uncomfortable, but I thought, "I'm not a doctor; these guys know what they're doing," so I didn't say anything about the taping. This was my face when I finally conceded that I should just take the bus straight to lunch and miss the first 10 miles of the day's walk:

I felt like such a failure because I couldn't walk. I turned on my phone on the bus to lunch and was just inundated with Facebook posts, tweets, texts, etc. from my amazing friends who all encouraged me and lifted me up and told me they were praying for me. I swear I felt all those prayers, and they were answered...because when the medical crew arrived at the lunch location, I was led to a chiropractic student who had volunteered to work on the medical crew for the event. Her name was Mandy (!!! coincidence?? I think not!) and she was my angel. She had the sweetest and kindest face, and she encouraged me, listened to me, and took so much time to really check out my feet. She noticed that the tape job I'd gotten at camp was actually hurting me more, and causing swelling, so she took it off and put all this pretty stuff on me:

It looks just like it was arbitrarily placed on me, doesn't it? But in actuality, it was all very deliberate. She finished taping me up and said, "Now stand up and tell me how that feels." It was unbelievable. I still had some pain and soreness, but it felt probably 10 million times better. She also told me that there was no tendon or ligament damage and that it was just sore/bruised muscles...and that I definitely could walk if I felt up to it, it would just probably hurt. She advised me to really stretch at each stop and to ice my feet when I got back to camp that night. Mandy was my ANGEL! She gave me one more huge hug, and I happily waited for Anna and Adrianne to meet me at lunch so that I could tell them about it and join them for the rest of the afternoon!

After lunch, we started off on the final 10 miles of Day 2. As we approached one of the official cheering stations, I suddenly heard LOUD SCREAMING...I should have known that the one and only Stephanie was the loudest person in Dallas and it had to be her. :) My two friends Stephanie (left) and Ashley (right) had driven to a cheering station to wait for us! It absolutely blew my mind and warmed my heart so much that they did this for me. I can't even tell you how amazing and uplifting it was to see them!

I was so glad to be able to walk that afternoon...I can't even describe how much better I felt. My feet still hurt quite a bit, but just knowing that I wasn't doing any lasting damage to them and just being with my teammates again was so rewarding. It was totally weird to be walking across major highways, though walking on 635 was probably faster than driving it EVER is:

It was so great to be able to walk back into camp with my teammates that evening. Since I had to take the van the day before, I had missed walking past all the flags into camp. I had to stop and pose with the flag that said "My Aunt," because my sweet Aunt Vickie was one of the main reasons why I was at the event in the first place. She was heavy on my mind the whole weekend, and every time it got hard, I just remembered how hard she fought. I hope she was proud of me this weekend (ugh...just typing it makes me cry all over again):

It was also awesome to watch people coming into camp. The picture below just shows how hardcore people really were. There's a girl in a wheelchair (who has to be a huge badass for pushing herself 60 miles and her friends are also amazing for pushing her chair when she got tired or needed help), and there is a woman being helped in by her two teammates. This event really did kind of restore my faith in humanity...people really can be awesome:

As I was instructed by Mandy, I did ice my feet that night. I swear the ice was way more painful than the sore muscles...at least at first. Luckily I just went numb after a few minutes:

That second night wasn't quite as cold, but we were still pretty chilly! The next morning, the line for the medical tent was soooooo long. There were some sore feet and bad blisters to be had. Anna, Adri and I were pretty lucky....we were sore and each had a small blister or two, but nothing like some people had:

I got to skip the long line because I just needed to see the chiropractors and have my K-tape fixed (some of it was coming off after 10 miles and a hot shower the night before), and the line for the chiropractors was practically non-existent. I walked into the medical tent and immediately saw Mandy, who waved me over. I damn near knocked her over with a hug because I was so grateful to her. She fixed up my tape and sent me on my way and told me she'd see me at the finish line!

We were bussed to the start of Day 3's route, but Anna wanted us to stop and take a picture in front of the Day 2 sign (they hadn't changed it out yet for Day 3):

Day 3 was tough. It was our shortest day ("only" 15 miles), but we were all very sore. The Pit Stops were closer together than other days...about 2 to 2.5 miles apart. We'd get going, warm up the muscles and be okay for a while, but by the end of those couple of miles each time we were really hobbling and struggling. Luckily, Day 3 was also our most visually stimulating day. We walked through some beautiful areas:

And there were more friends along the route that showed up at cheering stations to encourage us and keep us motivated. Anna's friend Susie, for one, came by for a hug and of course...a few pictures:

After lunch, we knew we were in the home stretch. Only 5.2 miles until the finish line. By the way, we also learned that one of the worst things you can say to a walker is that they're "almost there." Rarely is it actually true. Haha!

After walking through beautiful and historic downtown Dallas (we went through the West End, through Dealey Plaza, past the Old Red Courthouse, the Kennedy Memorial, Pioneer Plaza, to name just a few) and through Deep Ellum, we finally arrived at our final destination, which was Fair Park. Anna snapped this GREAT picture of me walking across the street and getting a high-five and a squeeze of the hand from the crossing guard:

Arriving at Fair Park was so emotional. Just knowing that we did it and we finished and we didn't have to walk anymore (well...not in order to finish the route anyway)....I can't even explain that feeling. Relief, exhaustion, accomplishment, you name it and you can see it on these faces:

We were then led into the "holding area" at the Cotton Bowl, where lines of people yelled and cheered for us all along the way. We each got a pink rose and our official 3-Day for the Cure t-shirts (anybody who knows me knows that I LOVE me some long-sleeved t-shirts!). Of course we had to pose in front of the official Day-3 sign!

After the last walker(s) arrived (to RAUCOUS applause and cheering), we were all corraled together to get ready to walk into the Closing Ceremonies. Before that, though, all of the survivors were asked to leave first so that they could walk in together. As the survivors, who had walked all 60 miles along with us, left the holding area, they played "We Are the Champions." And of course there were more tears.

All 3800 walkers marched together into the Cotton Bowl Plaza, and we were surrounded on both sides by cheering family, friends, and our amazing crew and volunteers who had been there for us every single step of the way. I found Mandy along the way and gave her a hug (can you BELIEVE I'm so stupid that I didn't get ONE picture with her?? Uggggghhhhh!).

The Closing Ceremony was incredible. The survivors surrounded the flagpole again, and all the walkers took off a shoe and raised it to them in salute (cue even more waterworks).

This is probably my very favorite picture of the 3 of us from the whole weekend. These are real smiles (not just our "Game Face smiles" that we had most of that last day), and it just brings back that incredible feeling that I felt that day every time I look at it:

My husband and my dad were both at the Closing Ceremony, which meant the world to me. I don't ever want to TELL someone to show up and be there for me....it may sound passive/passive-aggressive, but they should kinda just know after an event like this that their support and solidarity for what I'm doing is important to me. So to see my Dad there and know that he was thinking of his dad (my Papa) and sister (Aunt Vickie)...that was just amazing. Michael's support and cheerleading via text message that whole weekend held me together, too. I would have bailed out that first night, probably, if not for him. My husband had also cleaned the house for me while I was gone, and he brought me these amazing pink flowers...what a sweet guy:

I didn't even know it was possible to sleep as well as I did on Sunday night in my OWN bed after taking a deliciously hot shower that wasn't on a truck. I had the foresight to have taken Monday off, too, so I went and had a spa pedicure for my poor, sore feet. It was quite possibly the most unbelievable feeling ever...I was almost moaning during the foot and calf massage part of the pedicure. Haha! Of course, I got pink polish:

So, there it is. People keep asking me if I'm going to do it again next year. After writing this post, putting the pics up and captioning them on Facebook, etc....I think the answer is "yes!" I just cannot imagine sitting at home next year knowing that it's going on and that I'm not a part of it.

I'm not gonna tell my feet for another few weeks, though, so keep quiet. ;)

If you have any questions or have ever thought about doing this, let me encourage you to just try it. You can do it. If I can, so can you. I won't sugar coat it and tell you it's easy or even fun at times. But the reward is so great! And hopefully, one day, as the video below says (I think), there will be a time when we don't even need to do it anymore because we will have raised enough money to find a cure.

Seven weeks and seven pounds to go!

2010-09-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

It's so hard to believe that Anna and I will be doing the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk in only about 7 weeks! Where has the time gone?? Well, I did a couple of shows, which kept me super busy and only enhanced my weight loss goals (yay!). A recent trip to the doctor (not so much "yay" there...but when a body is tired it will make you rest whether you want to or not!) showed me that I only have SEVEN POUNDS to go before I reach my first weight loss goal of 40lbs that I set back in December!

About a week and a half ago, Anna and I attended a 3-Day Expo in Dallas to get some information and attend some workshops about life on the 3-Day walk, proper stretching and safety, blister care/maintenance (yuck!), etc. Anna has those pictures and I can't wait to see them so that I can put them on to a blog post.

Also, ANNA HAS MET HER FUNDRAISING GOAL!! Hurray! This was largely thanks to our most recent fundraiser, which was just this past Sunday, September 19th:

Provocative for Pink was similar to our Headshots for the Cure fundraiser that we held back in March of this year. Participants in this fundraiser, however, got a bit racier! ;-) Four photographers (pictured below with myself and Anna) and two makeup artists got together and offered some sexy and classy boudoir images for a donation of $150. This fundraiser was another HUGE success, and we are so grateful to Lynn Michelle Photography, Simple Moments Photography, Peyronet Photography, and Engaged Studio, as well as makeup artists Jessica Leigh and Jennifer Trotter, for donating their time and their tremendous talents once again to our fundraising efforts. We absolutely could not have done it without them.

Pointing at our "ta-tas" for the Provocative for Pink fundraiser!

Sweet-smelling sachets and each client's photo card

Release forms and gift bags and treats, oh my!

It was an early morning for me and Anna, but it was so worth it!

FINALLY, one last update! We have added a 3rd member to our team! Anna's good friend Adrianne will be walking with us, and we have come up with the team name Breast Friendz! Yes, it's silly. ;) But we think it's fun!

We all 3 have reached our goal, but there is still SO FAR to go in finding a cure for breast cancer! Please continue to donate to us if you feel led to. We would appreciate every penny given to our team!

Mandy's Page

Anna's Page

Adrianne's Page

Half-Fitaversary

2010-06-16T13:36:00.000-07:00

Something this morning clicked in my brain and I suddenly thought "Oh my God...I think it was exactly six months ago that I had the Day of Reckoning." I checked the calendar and....yep. Six months ago today was the first One for Mahler performance...the photos and videos of said performance are what completely shattered my self-esteem.

As I looked at them in bed late that night, my high from a successful performance completely brought back down to Earth, I asked myself "Who is that girl? That cannot be me." But it was.

For whatever reasons/excuses I would like to give myself, I had let myself put on 40lbs in the 8 years since I met my husband. When we met, I weighed 170lbs. You do the math. It's not pretty, trust me. But, I'm transparent about it because I have to be. I have to be honest with myself to others whom I trust and upon whom I rely for constant support and encouragement.

People like my husband, who asked "what can I do?" and I had to answer "NOTHING. Please don't baby me or tell me I look great" and probably sound really really bitchy in the process. Michael has put up with my angry days when I would step over his dead body for a slice of pizza, and he's also been very good about not complaining as I began to cook healthier meals and stocking the pantry and refrigerator with healthier snacks for the BOTH of us.

People like Kelsey, who was a godsend to me on December 17th when, red-eyed and depressed, I cried to her over Instant Messenger about my deeply-rooted desire to make changes. Kelsey has been there for me since that very moment, encouraging me and being my friend, cheerleader, and coach.

People like Kevin, who do not let me wallow in my down days. Who tell me to stop my bitching and go do something about it. To stop focusing on my plateaus and remember how far I've come since I started.

People like Dennis, Jimmy and Kelly, Heather, Nicci and Sarah, who keep up with me on Twitter and keep me motivated and encouraged with health tips and blogs and general awesomeness.

People like Rachel, Kathy, Helina, Ashley, Amelia, OLIVIA -- who are taking their own weight loss journeys at the same time. It excites the hell out of me to see their results, too!

People like Justin, Ashley, Stephanie -- the three people I talk to DAILY that just keep my spirits up and get me through each day.

People like Anna, who is just generally awesome and who is walking The 3-Day with me in a few months! Eeeek!

The COUNTLESS friends on Facebook who are always quick to comment and give me the boost I need and the reminder that what I'm doing IS making a difference.

*cue get the F offstage music from the orchestra pit*

I know, I know. And I left about a gazillion people out of that. Please don't be offended -- you know who you are. And I love you.

As I reflected upon the past six months this morning, I got a little perspective.

I have lost 30lbs in six months. That averages out to 5 pounds per month. I know it hasn't been exactly that way, but it made me stop to think. It's NOT a quick-fix. It's NOT going to happen overnight. It's NOT going to be easy. I didn't put on 40lbs in six weeks. I put it on over time. Over years of bad habits and a basically sedendtary lifestyle. So what makes ANYONE think that it's going to come off quickly and easily? It's not.

But is anything WORTH having acquired easily? I don't think so.

So...30lbs in 6 months. I can see the difference. I haven't been able to STOP looking at the difference all day in these two photos.

I can't WAIT to see what I can achieve in the next 6 months!

Dirty Rotten Recap and "When You Got it..."

2010-06-01T10:47:00.001-07:00

Well another show, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels has been put on the shelf. Due to my ridiculously busy schedule at work (the spring months are when all of our biggest deadlines are, and adding a show to that damn near killed me this time around), I didn't blog NEARLY as much as I wanted to about the rehearsal and production process of this amazing show.

I enjoy every show that I do and I always bond with cast members and find a way to love the role I'm playing...but only once in a blue moon do I get truly sad to close one. The last one was Crazy for You, which just happens to have been exactly one year ago. For that one and for DRS, the Monday after closing was just a dreadfully depressing day. I hated knowing I wouldn't do it all over again in a few days, and even listening to the cast recording when it happens upon my iPod shuffle makes me a little blue. It always passes, and I always keep in touch with the people from the cast, but the first few days are a little rough.

This show was particularly special to me for a couple of reasons. The first is indicated in the pictures heading up this blog post (all above). Kenny Fudge, who was the Andre to my Muriel, made this show so special for me. He has been on my theatre "wish list" ever since I saw him act when I worked backstage last summer for Don't Dress for Dinner, and I am so fortunate to have been cast opposite him.

The roles of Andre and Muriel in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels are an absolute trip. They may be secondary plot characters, but they have the ability to steal the show with their fabulous, cheesy (and sometimes dirty!) one-liners, the adorable song and dance number "Like Zis, Like Zat," and possibly the only real moments in an otherwise cartoony show. Muriel is also a very isolated character...all of her stuff is with Andre after a certain point, so I got to spend lots of stage time with this brilliant actor. And I think I fell a little bit in love with both Kenny and his Andre! I am so honored to have been cast opposite him. Kenny is absolutely no-drama, which I love, and his work ethic is incredible. Any time we had down time, we were running lines or talking about why scenes still felt a little off and figuring out how to fix it.

ON the stage, I have never worked with a more giving actor than Kenny. As someone who fancies herself more of a singer than an actress, I can't even say how much I appreciated working with such an amazing actor. His dedication onstage and the way HIS actions brought Muriel out of ME was amazing. I'm so grateful for it, and I think I'll ONLY do shows with Kenny from now on. :)

The SECOND reason this show was so special to me is why I can also post this on my weight loss blog. This show very much felt like a coming out party for me. I haven't been onstage in a lead or supporting role ever since The Reckoning. The last show I did was Chicago, which is when I was at my heaviest. So, some of the audiences have not seen me since I lost the 30lbs (!!!) I've lost since December.

I have to tell you....as much as I love and appreciate every compliment I got on my acting and singing in this show -- probably the most I've gotten yet on my actual performance of a show to date -- I NEVER once got tired of hearing, "Oh my GOD you look AMAZING!" when I'd greet friends, family and strangers after each performance. And honestly? I felt amazing. I felt lighter, my breath support during dancing and singing was better and easier to handle, and I loved all my costumes. I loved how they looked and I loved how I felt in them.

Below is a couple of pictures just to illustrate some of the awesomeness of weight loss. The first one is a picture of my friend Olivia, who was in the show with me (and was also in Crazy For You). Olivia has been on a very similar weight loss journey with me over the past 6 months or more. She has, to date, lost over 55lbs. Since I have lost 30, I felt it necessary to document in a photograph the AWESOME-ness that is 85lbs lost combined:

This picture is just one I threw together when I was scrolling through old Facebook photos last week. The picture on the left is a picture of me after a performance of Chicago, and the picture on the right was taken during the rehearsal process for DRS. I feel like I look SO different (besides the lighter hair color, obviously) in the two pictures. I look YOUNGER in the picture on the right, so I guess it's true what they say, that losing weight can make you look (and feel) younger!

So, speaking of weight loss...I feel like it's time to make the announcement of the next project I'll be working on. I'll just go ahead and come right out and say it and THEN tell the story of how this came to be:

I will be playing Ulla in Denton Community Theatre's production of The Producers this August.

I know, this is VERY unlikely. For several reasons. One, I'm 5'3. Two, I'm not tall and thin with legs that go for days. Three...I'm not a skinny girl.

But, it happened. I'll never play the role again, so I'm going to take my chance since I have it. I need you to know, blog readers, how much I AGONIZED over auditioning for this.

I talked to two very honest, to-the-point friends of mine, who are also directors. I asked them, "If you were directing this show and I auditioned for this role, would you smile politely and then write "fat chance, sister!" on my audition form?" Both of them were honest and direct in their responses and both said something similar to "No, but we'd put you in the maybe file and hope and pray that a tall, leggy Amazon showed up to rehearsals." Okay, so at least I knew I wasn't being completely delusional with the audition. So I went, and I did my best.

Then came the agony of "What happens if I DO get cast? Are people going to see the cast list and scoff? Laugh at the fact that a 5'3", size 10-12 girl is playing Ulla? What are people goign to say to me? How am I going to prove myself? Can I lose another 20 lbs by August if I'm cast?"

Then I got offered the role. And I almost puked. People keep asking me, "Are you so excited?!" The answer deep down is yes...but I have found myself TERRIFIED of what people are going to say/think about this.

I was vague-tweeting about this on Twitter before I was offered the role, and another local actor who is also a fitness coach, Jimmy Hays Nelson, tweeted back to me, "Don't let someone else's opinion of you become YOUR reality." Boom, reality check. Why am I SO concerned about what other people are thinking?

Honestly I could go on and on about this...but I'll save that for another blog. Right now I'm just going to re-focus on making HEALTHY changes in my life, start religiously counting calories again (had a leeeeeeetle too much indulgence over the holiday weekend), and up the ante on my workouts. Not so that I can prove to anyone else that I deserve to play this role, but so that, just like I did in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, I can walk off that stage every night feeling amazing and confident because I know I have worked hard.

As Ulla says, "If you got it -- FLAUNT it." Bring it on.

25 lbs and...Plateauing

2010-04-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

Down 25 lbs. Picture taken on March 28th, 2010.

Down 22 lbs. Picture taken at The Column Awards, March 8th, 2010.

I realized that I haven't updated on my weight loss goals in a while -- fundraising and the Headshots event (and work and regular day-to-day life of course) have taken up most of my thoughts and time!

I am happy to announce that I am down a full 25 lbs and weighing in at around 186 right now. Unfortunately, that number has not changed at ALL in about three weeks.

I'm not gonna lie....that is incredibly frustrating. If I'm being completely honest with myself I can say that I have slipped a little in counting calories. I got into a rhythm of doing well and not changing my habits, so I stopped actually counting everything I put in my mouth for a while. I think it's time to start doing that again so that I don't continue to plateau or worse....gain weight.

However, I have stepped it up a notch in the working out phase of this process. Now that I've met my fundraising minimum goal, it's time to REALLY focus on training to walk that 60 miles in November.

I work right next door to the Rec Center where I work, and I've started bringing a gym bag with me to work every day. I've gotten to where I go at least three times a week, and I alternate between spending time on the treadmill and the elliptical machine, to give my knees a break.

TWICE this week, on two separate occasions, I have gone three miles on the treadmill -- for a total of about six miles so far. Out of those six miles, I can say that I "ran" almost 5...I say "ran" because my running is about as fast as most people walk, but whatever, I'm doing it. And I feel amazing when I'm done.

It's time to step it up on the mileage for training purposes, though, and I'm ready to start taking advantage of the beautiful weather we've been having and really get out there for some long walks.

That's it for now! Keep sending your amazing words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers to me so that I don't get too frustrated and lose momentum on the weight loss. I appreciate every word, comment, text, Facebook message that I get, and I honestly couldn't do this without all of my supportive friends and family.

Reaching Goals!

2010-03-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

I am THRILLED to report that I have officially met my minimum fundraising goal for the 3-Day walk. Each walker had to raise a minimum of $2,300 in order to participate and, thanks to generous donations from friends and family and a hugely successful fundraiser, I am currently sitting at $2,330 raised! So remember when I talked about Headshots for the Cure?

Well that event was this past Sunday, March 28th, and it was a lot of fun and a HUGE success.

I won't bore you with a lot of words, but I will say that I absolutely couldn't have pulled it off without the generous, talented photographers of Fresh Focus Point, with whom I am pictured here:

....as well as makeup artists Cassie Cole from Blue Issue and Jerry Rogers from The Clutts Agency (pictured further down, hard at work).

I arrived early that day to help set up, test lighting, blow up pink balloons, anything I could do, and had a wonderful surprise when my best friend and teammate Anna showed up with her beautiful daughter Bridget (also known as Queen B). Bridget was very happy to be there:

Then the clients started arriving, and I'm happy to show off some of my favorites of everyone's headshots:

Me -- the "brains" behind the event (ha).

My handsome and talented husband, Michael Rausch! Perfect shot for opera auditions, yes?

Steven Young

Amber Guest

Whitney Dewell

Valerie Rowekamp

Tad Hopp

Shannon Jones

Rebecca Iverson

Leslie Standlee

Joshua Diaz

John Norine

Jessica Cope

Heidi Lewis

Clyde Berry

Bianca Sias

Andrew Bryan

Allison Wing

Ashley White

There was also a self-shooting station and some fun, pink (naturally) props to play with while everyone was waiting to be shot or to get their discs printed. I LOVE that everyone had fun with it:

The following photos were taken by Andy Post as he walked around during the day:

Overall it was just a really amazing (not to mention exhausting) day. Everyone had a great time and everyone left happy with their photos. AND all the proceeds went to such a wonderful cause and helped me to reach my goal. MAJOR thanks to everyone and every dollar contributed. I plan to keep fundraising, but it's such a relief and a blessing to know that the minimum goal has been met.

Headshots for the Cure!

2010-03-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present my first really big fundraiser:

Click on the image to enlarge

Headshots for the Cure is a fundraising event that was created by me, in collaboration with the photographers of Fresh Focus Point, a Dallas-based photographer collective.

The event is being created in order to provide high-quality, professional headshots for actors, performers and/or corporate individuals with all proceeds from the event going directly towards my individual fundraising goals for the Susan G. Komen Foundation's 3-Day Walk for the Cure. The Komen foundation is the global leader of the breast cancer movement in its goals to increase awareness; empower patients, survivors and family members; and ultimately help find a cure.

For more information or to schedule a slot to get your own headshots, visit the Facebook event here!

Partners in Crime

2010-02-28T08:55:00.001-08:00

Sometimes in life, you get lucky to find a friend really early on who will be there at so many important events in your life. Your first college job, for example:

(God we look young) (and thin)

Your first college party (or parties):

(I promise we were 21...I think)

Someone who will, several years later, stand by you as your Matron of Honor on your wedding day:

Someone who, out of alllllll the people our age who are having babies, will incite the first genuine tears of happiness at this news from your not-quite-ready-yet self:

(At Anna's baby shower. Pardon my crazy red hair and crazy eyes)

And someone who, almost 10 years later, will come home from a long day of teaching and let you help give her sweet baby a bath, cook dinner for you, and share an evening of planning for the next big event together:

I am so excited that Anna and I will be doing yet another major event in our lives together.

From the college years, through boyfriends and finally to husbands, weddings and babies -- now as we both approach (gasp!!) 30 years of age, we will, yet again, be standing by one another for a new milestone as we walk 60 miles together in the fight against breast cancer.

I cannot wait to post the pictures of us together on the walk and as we cross the finish line together! I love you Anna Banana!

Positive Reinforcement

2010-02-22T18:26:00.000-08:00

It's unbelievable how much positive reinforcement goes a long way in this journey. I have the most amazing support network of family, friends and even strangers that are cheering me on as I make my health goals a priority in my life and as I commit to training for The 3-Day.

As of today, I have raised $810 towards my goal of $2,300.

Also, I have lost 20 lbs out of the 40 lb weight loss goal I set for myself.

I have been a bad girl about going to the gym consistently, but I have done everything in my power to be active even on my nights off from the gym. My sweet puppy Carmen has benefited from that, since my activity on non-gym nights usually means a long walk for her and Mommy. But, I would rather be at the gym, at least until the weather warms up (for more than a day) and the days are longer. I really don't prefer walking in the dark in my neighborhood, and Carmen is certainly no protection against would-be attackers. :)

However, when I have gone to the gym, I've slowly been building up my endurance. I'm learning how to control my breathing when I jog and how to be constantly aware of my posture. Even though I'm training to walk 60 miles, I figure it's just as beneficial for me to learn how to run. Because after the 3-Day is over, I'll have to set some new goals...maybe even a 5k or 10k somewhere down the line.

As usual, my husband has been incredibly supportive and is happy for me and proud of me. Occasionally he ribs me about the fact that I'm walking that far, and that I'll be "roughing it" (he got an especially good chuckle over the fact that I'll be sleeping in a tent on the two nights) for 3 days. But of course it's all good-natured, and I know he's proud of me.

My friends have been amazing.

We had a reunion two nights ago (Saturday) for a show we all did together a year ago, Crazy For You, which was also a celebration of two friends being in from out of town AND a birthday celebration for one of the cast members. I haven't seen some of these people since New Year's Eve, and some since even further back than that. Kevin was especially proud:

It was SO UPLIFTING to see their faces when they walked in and saw me, came over and hugged me, and commented, "Oh my GOD look at you! You look so great!"

I really did just get tears in my eyes typing that. I don't know what I did to be blessed with such awesome, genuine friends, but I'm thankful for it because they're here and supportive when I need them the most.

I know I've got a long way to go in reaching my 40lb weight loss goal (much less Goal B Of Which We Never Speak Out Loud) and in being able to walk this 60 miles. But damn. I really do feel like I'm over the biggest hump, which was getting started and believing in myself.

I'm so. excited. to see what happens over the next few months!

Let the Training Commence

2010-02-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

Since my first blog post, which was also the day that I sent out my mass email to all of my friends and family, I am absolutely thrilled and overwhelmed to say that, so far, I have raised....

*drumroll*

$650 towards my $2,300 goal!!

Once I clicked "send" in my Participant Center on the 3-Day web site, the emails of donations and/or words of encouragement and prayer started pouring in. I was genuinely overwhelmed and had tears in my eyes as I tried to send out initial thank-yous to everyone.

I think that 2010 is going to be a banner year...and I think it's time we had one, don't you? I can't WAIT to get going on some of my fundraising ideas and see what can come of them.

I have a few things in the works, but I'm hesitant to mention anything until they are for sure...but stay tuned!

So, today I am going to start back on the workout wagon. I was doing really well for almost two weeks straight (of working out at least 30 minutes every day) until I got knocked over with an upper respiratory infection. I know – excuses, excuses, right? Well, NO MORE.

Last week I turned in my cancellation form to Jazzercise (sad) and filled out my membership form to the UNT Rec Center (yay!). Before you laugh about Jazzercise, know that it was HARD and more of a butt-whoopin' than you might think. Ask Kels, she came with me once! I was sad to have to cancel, but honestly in order to prepare for this walk, I have to get my butt on a treadmill and start working on good old fashioned stamina.

And my husband won't let me pay for both Jazzercise and the Rec Center. With good reason. :)

So tonight, to the gym we go!

I think I'm going to look for some sort of widget or something to keep on my blog to track how many miles I've walked/run as I prepare for this. Any suggestions?

Finally...check out the little iPod Nano on my sidebar. If you click "Menu" you can see some inspirational songs I've chosen to load as people click on my actual blog (you'll have to exit out of Google Reader to see this, if you've got me in a reader or RSS feed). Enjoy, and thank you for your continued support!

Love,
Mandy
http://www.the3day.org/goto/mandyrausch

First Post - Here we go!

2010-02-09T12:08:00.000-08:00

Making a change...for the better of myself and for the Greater Good.

That's why I'm doing this.

As you can see from the picture above, I have already started on the change in myself. Yes, you can see a pretty significant change in me physically between the picture on the left (December 16, 2009) and the pictures on the right (January 31, 2009). A 15-lb difference to be exact.

What you can't see is the changes I am feeling inside...spiritually, mentally and emotionally. When I get up in the mornings now, I don't dread getting ready for work because nothing fits me. I look forward to getting dressed in something I haven't been able to wear in months -- even years. AND although my husband probably dreads this day, I look forward even MORE to being able to go shopping for clothes because nothing fits.

More importantly, though, I am happier with myself. I feel better because my body is on my side.

Even MORE importantly...I am humbled and overwhelmed at the opportunity to participate in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk for the Cure this November in Dallas. I am humbled and overwhelmed by the support and love and encouragement I've already gotten from family, friends, and even virtual strangers.

All I ask in this journey is that you do any or all of the following:

Make a financial contribution towards my goal (see the big ol' picture on the sidebar and click away)
Pray for me as I make this journey towards a healthier me and as I train for this demanding physical experience
Keep me accountable. Ask me how I'm doing, how I'm feeling....encourage me not to give up when I get discouraged or exhausted.

Not so hard, huh?!

I look forward to sharing this journey with you all.

Love,

Mandy